Highs and Lows

I don't know what "Girls can't what?" means

LOW: Last night, The Marriage Ref on NBC. Have you seen it? It’s not for stoned people. It’s not for any people. It’s the worst thing that has ever been made. Redeemable only insofar as it gives you an indirect look into how insane and out of touch all celebrities are—all, even the ones you felt a super strong, potentially sexual connection to (Tina Fey). (The point of the show is ostensibly to show how out of touch we are. With each other, with our spouses, with the rest of the country.) Anyway, it’s the fucking pits.

HIGH: Today, just now, Mission Burger’s fish sandwich. Let me go on record as being the first to tout the merits of this thing. Salt cod, lightly pickled cucumbers, dill, charged malt vinegar aioli (what the fuck, Danny? This was insane). The thing is a masterpiece. This is all going to come off as nepotistic, insider exaggeration, but it’s not. Just wait. Some shmuck with a website called AbsolutelyFried or CuteseatPatooteat or Foodielingus is going to tell you to eat this sandwich, and you’re going to do it, and you’re going to feel bad that you didn’t listen to me in the first place.

Oh and on another note, it looked like working people were eating at MB (as opposed to hungover jobless hipsters), so I’m taking that as a sign that the operation is gaining momentum.

5 responses to “Highs and Lows

  1. what identified them as working people? were they wearing utility belts? this is an outrage! i’m taking my business over to CuteseatPatooteat

  2. Literally, utility belts.

  3. arockridgelife

    watch out for under cover hipsters in paint-splattered jeans–seriously. Also I watched Marriage Ref on Jet Blue. AWFUL. Hitch is superior comedy. Seriously. Give it a chance. Also The Birdcage might be my favorite movie ever. WHAT???? Congratulations on the fish sandwich. Look out for me in a utility belt forging the Bay from East to West to try it.

  4. I got paint all over my banana republic jeans this weekend. I am at my job right now. I’m still not a working person.

  5. I am taking two PhD candidates to try this sandwich this afternoon. I have a cold. More after the jump

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